Motherhood - Mythology

There are millions and millions of people in this world. Nobody has time to understand the feelings of the other person. Every body is struggling for survival. Every body is in rat race. Every day is a struggle. Do we really need to produce a new one into this world? Are we endangered species which is struggling for survival? The answer is NO.

We are one among the fastest growing species which is occupying this world. We are changing the dynamics of the nature. We are torturing mother earth for our every day livelihood. We are reshaping her at our own will. We are churning the ocean and causing imbalance in sea life. We are completely commanding the rest of the animals on the earth. They are living on our mercy. We are treating them like machines. We are deciding when they should take birth, what they should eat, when they should die... etc... etc. Any way we call it civilization.

We are in competition with our own fellows (that is the law of course). We don't have to time to listen to the problems of our own parents, our own brothers and sisters, our own kids, our own relatives and our own friends. Leave it, we don't have time to even know our own SELF.

Why not help one poor soul into this world instead of bringing a new one? There is no shortage of unfortunate kids in this world. But the big question is who is ready to practice it? No woman want to sacrifice her motherhood. 

This reminds me of a mythological story in Valmiki Ramayanam. All the Devata's asks Lord Siva to promise that he will not bear any kids through Parvathi. Agreeing to which Lord Shiva discharges his Shakti to Bhoomi. Bhoomi could not hold it and passes it on to Agni. Coming to know about this Parvathi curses all the Devata's that they will never become parents again. Thats why our Devatha count is always constant. She also curses Bhoomi that she will have many husbands, and also her sons will become her husbands (King is Bhoomi pati... and his son also becomes Bhoomi pati). If you don't know this story, listen to Valmiki Ramayanam Balakanda.

No woman in this world would like to sacrifice her motherhood. It is a mistake even to expect that kind of sacrifice from them unless the girl has some real purpose. If you happen to know any woman who is putting this practice, convey my salute to her (or if you are the woman who is reading, I salute you).

Don't ever suggest this to your spouse if you don't have kids already. Even Parvathi Devi couldn't bear that thought, we are mere mortals.

Fertility test - Marriage ideology

Back when I was working in Chennai, I was working with this senior guy. He is a localite and comes from very conservative family. He used to call me "kulladu" (meaning short guy). Or sometimes in his typical accent  "emandi potti vadu" :). Many of his mannerisms are like my father. The way he smiles, the way he shares his experiences, the way he extracts information from me... there are good similarities with my father. He is not as elder as my father, but he is old enough to guide me like a big brother. I told him many times that he looks like my father. But I always called him by his name.

Coming to the topic of our discussion... This guy had some impression on me on certain marriage ideologies. One among them that I followed is fertility test. In our society when a couple doesn't become parents, usually finger is always pointed at the girl first. Or they start the so called "inquiry" from her side. Reasons for that are beyond the scope of this discussion. One of the best practices all the youngsters should do (according to him) is to provide a fertility test and AIDS test before the marriage. His belief is that this will solve many future frustrations that the couple may get in that area. He proudly announced that he did it in late 80s and questioned why it cannot be done in 2000s??

I too suggest that boys should come forward to provide that certificate IF THEY THINK that helps. But remember, this doesn't guarantee any harmony between you related to kids. If time is not good people can pick fight even based on these ideal practices :)

Jab kismat saath nahi diya tho khuda bhi kya karega?

My name is ...!

This is not a review about the recent movie. Blog about some hurt feelings that are deeply buried in my heart.

Different cultures have different ways of putting their surnames. Matronymic is you go after your mother, Patronymic is you go after your father. Most accepted practice in India (or as far as I know) is Patronymic.

For years, surnames are playing a big role in identifying people. Raghu is one of the kings in Ikshavaku dynasty. Even Lord Rama himself is referred as Raghu nandana, Raghu Rama, Raghupati, Raghu kula nayaka (along with other names).

In Genisis, it is told that God created Adam first. Eve was created from Adam's rib. A man is not complete without his woman. After marriage woman adopts mans surname, and thus acknowledging the presence of God in that union.

In globalization cultures mingle. People have more choices to choose at their will. I have seen girls who make a big fuss about changing their names after marriage. They conduct public discussions and make protests on this simple private matter and create a big nuisance out of it. They even blog about it (like I just did :) ). If you don't want to change your name, forget it. Why make a scene out of it? But at the same time they should respect personal feelings of others!

Religious scripts are the source of many common cultures that we see around us. But this name changing culture goes beyond these scripts. For protecting family and wealth people changed surnames. I have seen people who changed their surnames to hide their clan/cast/religion. Survival for existence!

PS: If I were a girl will I be glad to change my name? My answer is I don't know :). But I would say that what you carry in your head is what matters, nobody cares what you carry next your name!